bella
14
grade 9
i hate jealous,angry,liars
they make me sick.
i love fashion,starbucks,friends,marc jacobs
and sephora
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hii! i thought id update its been a while ive been mia because my mom can be a pansy and she takes my laptop away boo hoo. anyways my living situation has not gotten better,as a matter of fact its gotten worse. oh yippeee,lets all dance. anyways i know were doing a very good thing here but ive had enough of these people they hog the bathrooms,their squeaky dog is anoying and they eavesdrop allll the time. for example when i wake up i need to use the bathroom to brush my teeth and stuff like normal people do in the morning. so when i say can i use the bathroom ? and i get the answer "in 10 minutes" it pisses me off. obviously if i say can i use the bathroom it means i need to pee which means i need to pee NOW not in 10 minutes! geeeeezzzeee, annyyywhoo ive decided to get twitter and a new blog just for bookmarking clothes and stuff if you want the linkies here youu goo!
http://twitter.com/bellaahaart (twitter! follow me :D ) http://weheartit.com/user/bellahart (we heart it) http://bellahartt.blogspot.com/ (new blog chicka chicka yaa)
so there we go i doubt anyone even reads my ultra-boring-probably-very-pessimistic blog but the point is, i get to say things on here that i cant say in real life you know? and just about every thought i get during the day that i cant just JUMP out and say outloud i say on here so thanks you people that read my ultra boring blog. i appreciate it :) now im going to go read someone elses really cool nice amazingly inspirational blogg AMAZING
alrighty then tootles!
gooooodbye
tot ziens adios! au revoir farvel sbohem
p.s yes i defintately did go on google translate and translate "goodbye" into diffrent languages because i am that cool and i have such a life oh woow complete B.S well now it is definately GOODBYE
well this week has been eventful. for starters i kinda crashed at the begining so i stayed home im failing four fucking courses,and im really worried about it like its just so damn hard stay on top of everything like all the work just goes right over my head its retarded and with alot of work,and i need to work i need the money for like clothes and stuff lmao plus who doesnt want money? and i like working for it.anyways with work and family and social life its so hard to have my mind focused on school so i talked to my guidance counselor and we talked about summer school so im gonna go to summer school now i really dont mind but like i hope i can still handle everything even though its just for two courses. things with L got better,we're starting to become good friends again i really wish her and M would be fine,even though he is the most retarded boyfriend ever he really brings down her self confidence. me and MB hung out last night,we went makeup shopping tee hee i got that new lash stilleto thing i hope it works :) i got two books! i love reading so im pretty happy about that i decided im going to ditch E as a friend its really hard though like i have no idea what to say to her
i cant just be like "i really dont want to be friends with you because our entire group of friends do not like you whatsoever and your really anoying when all you talk and think about is C,B and MS,like honestly your embarrasing to be around ever where i go people are asking me why on earth im friends with you because your honestly so gay and our entire school hates you and im sorry they dont hate me but your bringing me down"
like thats kind of really shady and mean but thats exactly how it is anyways so my friend SF wants to ditch her for me but its just so high school and cowardly you know? like im so much more mature than that but argh! i just dont know what to do i got a little worried that she'd be jealous because i still talk to C and that she'd go say some stuff to him so i messaged him last night and i told him in advance that she might say something gay to him about me and that it would be complete bullshit. and he was like total cool with that,and he told me he told her off already so its fine. so i guess im okay with him too,the hate kind of drifted away,im not mad or bitter or anything im just so over all this.
wait i lied okay so B was in mexico right and swines going on right now and it took him a while to get home but hes back and holy shit he is tanned and its amazing so yeah hes friends with C and stuff but he talks to me even more now and im freaking happy about that ive been checking him out all week so all thats cool and i decided hes jsut good to look at thank god i dont like anyone right now i already have so much going on like ofirhgor argh my mom decicded to be really "nice" and a friend of hers lost her house so all of her family moved into my house so thats her,and two boys isnt that lovely? NOT i feel so uncomfortable like its all so weird i have my room and like everyone has theyre own but like i miss my home its not the same anymore like all these people that i dont like are here and i feel like nothings mine anymore my mom thinks im being selfish jsut because i have the master bedroom but its not that its just that like my home used to be were i came and everything was okay like it was liek going on a vacation everything was so calming here and like me and my mom were so close and all of that is gone its like chaos and they brought a dog with them she is cute though haha anwayys ive got stuff to do,but i had to blog haha ill update later
& now that we're done here i feel so much better much more liberated and C can get mad at this but i want B and thats what im going to get. he can't have his cake and eat it too. now im off to go shopping avec ma mamaaa retail therapy! haha have an awesome day! :)
i swear if he ever reads this i mean every single word.
Dear C, lets begin with "i hate you" and baby oh baby i do. ive had enough of your shit. like i said this aint no monopoly and im done. i want us to move on and keep living out lives like none of this ever happened. im going to pretend you didnt hurt me like you did im going to ignore you im going to act like everytime i see your face a part of me isnt dying inside you wont confuse me with one more harsh word,or sweet sentence no you wont. NOT ANYMORE im done,i dont want you anymore, garbage is more admirable than you. dont message me,glance at me,say my name or get all your older faggy friends to stare at me dont bring B into this. dont bring E into this. we're done here. i swear if i could make you ugly i would if i could put you through what you've out me through i would because it hurts more than you know way more than you know my boy. and you dont care at all. i fucking hate you so much everything you've caused all of it my hate for you just keeps growing. i hate you I HATE YOU i hate you so much more than words themselves can explain im done playing your games,acting like everything you say doesnt matter to me, im done with you being phony.no,shh dont talk im done with this, so i know its your gay ass birthday monday, and ive got a gift for you i hope you enjoying reading this letter and i hope you understand everything youve done wrong because im so over this im so over you and im so over your friends im just over. happy birthday fucker i hope your life hurts as much as you made mine. i also hope one day you'll relized= what a corny,hearltess,shady,sketchy dick you are. and maybe you'll feel bad maybe just relize? apologize? no your pride would get in the way well enjoy being a proud hollow and shallow dick.and grow up.
